Kingdom of Halyven
Rixen Rise and rise again until lambs become lions;
Nights like these gave me a release. Years of self-discipline and a life riddled with danger taught me stoicism, to have control over the face which I showed the world. If there was one thing my past had taught me, it was this: to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve was a dangerous thing. There weren’t many horses who could tell of my innermost workings. This was something I prided myself in, but it was also part of a never ending struggle. I was so in the habit of taking all that was calm about me and made it my aura, tucking away that which would surrender my insecurities to the world and leave me so naked. Even where there was no danger, it had become pure instinct, to breeze through this life bestowing smiles and the salve of rich and honeyed vocals to all. Over time some things that scared me would fade away; relief would wash over me, as if they were never there at all. But time could not absolve everything. "Yeah…" I nodded slowly in agreement, considering for a moment the strange terror I felt at the daunting task of leading an entire herd. What’s more, it was the Rift’s first herd. That left me with, in my mind, no other option than to succeed. To show the Rift that its mysterious and dark ways would not stand in the way of horses coming together. The thought sat like a heavy pit in my stomach. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to lead a herd or that I did not want there to be a herd at all. No. That was so far from the truth. That’s why I’d come here. To try to rid my mind of the thought of things going all wrong. But the thing about doubt was that it was not easy to erase. All attempts would be fatal if every other part of my being wasn't on board; I knew I had to convince that tiny, persistent part of me, but it was too questioning to easily persuade. My mouth held its frown shape, jaw clenched tightly, an outward sign of the many emotions brewing within my doubt-infected soul. That was when I felt Kiada’s pelt brush mine as the gilded mare leaned into me in a gentle embrace, an electric rush of lightning against the cool of the night. I’d been so busy thinking that it hadn’t occurred to me that she was stepping in closer until she was there. Taken by surprise at her touch, I raised my head a little, green gaze looking upon her expression, just to make sure that it was what she wanted, and not a mistake. Her embrace was a simple enough gesture - affection, perhaps the fragile beginnings of something more. The fur that brushed mine was soft, flanks strong. The feel of her body pressed against mine soothed me more than I had expected. Dare the thought cross my mind that I’d desired the feeling of her side against mine? As she leaned her neck across me and rested her head on the other side of my withers, it became clear that she had intended every movement. And of course, I did not mind. A heavy sigh escaped my maw, a billow of white cloud in the frigid air, as if my breath had been held in far too long and was at last set free by Kiada’s reassuring touch. I’d never felt anything like it - it felt ...right. The world around me melted away as my body pressed back, not wanting the moment to end. "I trust Roscorro. And I look up to him. There are few others I’d want to lead by my side. Truthfully, I don’t know what I would do without him. In part, that’s why I think I feel this way. I think… you know, I worry about equalling him as a leader. It wouldn’t be fair, if I couldn’t." I couldn’t help but tell Kiada how I felt, accompanied by a small shake of my head. It felt weird to be sharing those words, but like I’d said, they were true. It was difficult to imagine guiding the Rift’s first beside anyone else. Roscorro gave me more confidence in the herd’s future, and my ability to share in its leadership, than I’m sure he could fathom. Yet it wasn’t enough. Why? Despite the heaviness in my stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her fur resting against mine. Trying to swallow without seeming nervous, I allowed myself to sink into the heat of her side, appreciating her simple gesture for all that it was. Kiada’s touch made the night warmer somehow, even as we stood there together beneath the stars' cold glow. The voice of her advice was warm in itself, with a rounded feel, comforting like the dancing flames of a softly crackling fire. It almost felt cozy. "I haven’t lived in a herd much. It was a long time ago and… it didn’t exactly end well. And now-" I paused, as if I could hardly believe the words rolling from my own tongue, "Now I’m the leader of one. Hopefully I can get the hang of this whole- er- leader thing." Attempting to lighten the mood of the conversation, I ended the thought with a somewhat awkward chuckle that sounded as ungraceful as it felt. In part, it was amusement at myself, at the realization, in retrospect, that these small doubts should be the least of my worries. Her pale blue eyes were soft, like liquid pools of sky, as she searched for my gaze. My own glittering emerald orbs met hers, and held them steadily there. She pulled her ashen head slightly from my shoulder, and offered a smile. It bored into me, unearthed me. It was radiant, as always, beaming like the sun - even in the darkness. Her velvet lips began to move once more, voice soft but certain: I am here for you, Rixen. I did not think anyone had said those words to me before. No, not that I could remember. Sometimes the passing of days or months or years was not necessary. Nor instant gratification. Sometimes, a few heartfelt words and a listening ear were enough - enough to make everything else seem small, even if just for a few heartbeats. That was all it took to lift my spirits for the time being. "I appreciate it, Kiada. I know I can always trust you." I replied after a moment, pausing to collect my thoughts and shape them and form them and churn them out into sentences. "I hope you know that I am here for you too, if you ever need me." Breaking eye contact, I turned my head toward the sky, before casting her a playful sideways glance. "Or rather, when." I whispered, the right corner of my lip tugged upward in a subtle grin, a crease of amusement. "TALK HERE" |
@Kiada <33 Sorry this took sooo loongg here you go. Why is this so long hrm i don't even have a clue
