Tar Pits
angel, wrestle me
crack my sides to let me see
crack my sides to let me see
You are useless. A voice his own, yet not, hissed within the darkness. A soft hearted worm. Weak. Helpless. Naïve. Unworthy to have my blood. Fade from existence and wipe your pathetic form from my line. Its presence within his soul was familiar. He knew it, could not escape it. Fore it was he himself. Yet it wasn't. It was something older. Something tied to that dark corner of his soul that had awoken the day he had incurred Kiada's wrath.
The voice continued to bombard him with vile, degrading words. The stallion barely listened as he continued to drift towards the void. It would be so wonderful to simply enter that darkness and escape the pain, the abuse. Quiet. Dark. Sweet nothingness. It would be so easy to go. Who would miss him? Gwyn cared little for his presence and Kiada hated him. Neither would care to see him leave. He had no ties to this world. So why stay? But would Gwyn be okay without him?
Gwyn will be better off without you. Had you stayed by her longer, you could have gotten her killed. You are a curse to those around you. That voice whispered heatedly.
It was right. She had gotten on without him before. She did not need him. Then another voice whispered to him. Called his name. He tried to brush it away. Leave me be! He hissed. Let me leave... I want to leave... But the voice refused to leave. It was so concerned for him. Not like any of the others that he heard. He opened his eyes when he felt someone lay next to him. The warmth of another body drew him away from the darkness. Vision blurry, he could barely focus on the being next to him. Their form swam before him. It was familiar. Taivas. The name floated through his mind. Yes. The mare he had met when she had first arrived in this world.
On the day you lost your powers. The voice growled. You were useless to her then and you are useless now. All you will do is hurt her too.
It was true. He had done her no good. He needed to get away before he did something to her too. He no longer trusted himself. Something within him was shifting and writhing to get out. It would hurt her if it had a chance. But he could not get away, or push Taivas aside. Too weak to do anything. He was so tired of it all. Again the darkness began to drift towards him. But the sound of her worry still rang in his ears, trying to force him to stay conscious. To care about the world again. He was normally so stubborn, so optimistic and determined to cling to any shred of hope no matter how fanciful. But his soul was beaten down and tired. Life was so hard. It hurt to exist. Wouldn't it be easier just to...
...Disappear...?
He took a deep breath, his gaze still locked with Taivas as he tried to remember what she had said. Something that she deemed important enough to say. He looked away, unable to accept the kindness. She was warm. So warm. She had even come down to his level. Laying in the sticky, gritty sand to share her own warmth with him. She deemed him worthy enough of her help, even if he did not. In that moment something within him collapsed. He couldn't push her away, the side of him that wanted to live, no matter what surged forward. Like a flood it crashed through his body, sweeping away the voices with a roar. With it came the emotions. His heart throbbed with more pain and he gasped for breath as he drew upon a well of strength he did not know he had to move closer to the mare. His ever shining star.
Her light was what he grasped onto at this moment, pulling himself away from the dark void that wanted to swallow him. The voice that had emerged from within him screamed as it was drowned out by the flood of survival instinct, emotion, and light. The giant opened his lips to try and answer Taivas's question. He remembered it, her words pulled from the haze of his mind as he came closer to her. He attempted to lay his own head across her legs, titled rather awkwardly so the spine did not bring her harm, as he sought to draw comfort from her presence. "Taivas." Was all that he was to speak. His voice weak and filled with emotion. He still couldn't muster the strength to say more, having used up the rest of his energy getting closer to her. His eyes watered with tears and he closed them to hide the pain that swam within them.
"TALK HERE"
The voice continued to bombard him with vile, degrading words. The stallion barely listened as he continued to drift towards the void. It would be so wonderful to simply enter that darkness and escape the pain, the abuse. Quiet. Dark. Sweet nothingness. It would be so easy to go. Who would miss him? Gwyn cared little for his presence and Kiada hated him. Neither would care to see him leave. He had no ties to this world. So why stay? But would Gwyn be okay without him?
Gwyn will be better off without you. Had you stayed by her longer, you could have gotten her killed. You are a curse to those around you. That voice whispered heatedly.
It was right. She had gotten on without him before. She did not need him. Then another voice whispered to him. Called his name. He tried to brush it away. Leave me be! He hissed. Let me leave... I want to leave... But the voice refused to leave. It was so concerned for him. Not like any of the others that he heard. He opened his eyes when he felt someone lay next to him. The warmth of another body drew him away from the darkness. Vision blurry, he could barely focus on the being next to him. Their form swam before him. It was familiar. Taivas. The name floated through his mind. Yes. The mare he had met when she had first arrived in this world.
On the day you lost your powers. The voice growled. You were useless to her then and you are useless now. All you will do is hurt her too.
It was true. He had done her no good. He needed to get away before he did something to her too. He no longer trusted himself. Something within him was shifting and writhing to get out. It would hurt her if it had a chance. But he could not get away, or push Taivas aside. Too weak to do anything. He was so tired of it all. Again the darkness began to drift towards him. But the sound of her worry still rang in his ears, trying to force him to stay conscious. To care about the world again. He was normally so stubborn, so optimistic and determined to cling to any shred of hope no matter how fanciful. But his soul was beaten down and tired. Life was so hard. It hurt to exist. Wouldn't it be easier just to...
...Disappear...?
He took a deep breath, his gaze still locked with Taivas as he tried to remember what she had said. Something that she deemed important enough to say. He looked away, unable to accept the kindness. She was warm. So warm. She had even come down to his level. Laying in the sticky, gritty sand to share her own warmth with him. She deemed him worthy enough of her help, even if he did not. In that moment something within him collapsed. He couldn't push her away, the side of him that wanted to live, no matter what surged forward. Like a flood it crashed through his body, sweeping away the voices with a roar. With it came the emotions. His heart throbbed with more pain and he gasped for breath as he drew upon a well of strength he did not know he had to move closer to the mare. His ever shining star.
Her light was what he grasped onto at this moment, pulling himself away from the dark void that wanted to swallow him. The voice that had emerged from within him screamed as it was drowned out by the flood of survival instinct, emotion, and light. The giant opened his lips to try and answer Taivas's question. He remembered it, her words pulled from the haze of his mind as he came closer to her. He attempted to lay his own head across her legs, titled rather awkwardly so the spine did not bring her harm, as he sought to draw comfort from her presence. "Taivas." Was all that he was to speak. His voice weak and filled with emotion. He still couldn't muster the strength to say more, having used up the rest of his energy getting closer to her. His eyes watered with tears and he closed them to hide the pain that swam within them.
"TALK HERE"
that if the end will set me free
or send me down below
or send me down below
Roscarro
image credit to jonathon_brandt at flickr
@Taivas <3
OOC: My giant needs cuddles. =(
You have my permission to use magic/force against Roscorro.
Maiming and killing is not allowed, though.
Maiming and killing is not allowed, though.
