everybody wants to rule the world
It's like some stupid cliche, some long awaited reunion of two siblings parted by life, by the cruel hands of fate that twist and manipulate their paths to separate and leave them to grow into two entirely different individuals (seriously, my life is turning into a fucking soap opera at this point). And that's exactly what happens, it's brother and sister, reunited through the loss of their home, through the elimination of too many from the population, through threat of death from a rogue god, it was bittersweet reunion. It's a fleeting glance in her direction, catching glimpses of a familiar, blood splattered face and sharp golden eyes - it's a moment of realization, recognizing that before me was not a ghost (I'd be screaming bloody murder I think), but a reality, it's Sabre.
I drag her ass away from the mess of our family upon seeing her, with her screaming and affection (seriously, was she always that touchy? I don't remember...) and my disbelief that the missing piece of the family (not you, Mom) has finally returned. I'm leading her somewhere else, anywhere else because I can't let that fucking army of Volterra spawn see me getting emotional over my long lost sister finally showing back up. But also, because I can't stand the noise, the screaming, the complaints of all the children surrounding us, the infuriating sight of more of them existing. It's a horde of mistakes, and each one makes me want to scream a little bit more. Fuck off, I want to tell the children, to the pleasurable feeling that washed over me at the Portal (what had that been?), and the weird, spying eyes that follow my movements from the portal to the humid, damp forest, to the strange - it's not that I'm bothered by attention, or having an audience, it's just this one that has me uneasy, because this is not a crowd that I can please with my usual tricks. So I'm going far from the prying eyes of my brethren and away from the chaos of this entirely new world.
I'd like to pretend that I wasn't nervous about this place, that I was strong and resilient, that I would remain defiant and confident here, because fuck it, I'll make this place my bitch too - but it's unsettling still, not at all the familiar, nicer atmosphere of Helovia, where you weren't being watched wherever you went and the world didn't seem to want to chew you up and spit you out. I got that feeling here, that I (we) were some particularly unwanted guests, that it didn't want to tolerate us or our trampling of its flora and the rowdiness of our crowds, of the tattered herds and interwoven families. Who knows how long it will be until this Rift finally decides against our taking up residence, when it will begin to take us apart the same way it had when Kaos brought destruction down upon Helovia and it's populous, leaving us scattered and terrified because he was powerful. And I love power, the idea of it, the feeling of having it, but Kaos was power that had rotted, power that mutated and fermented and left a sour taste at the back of your throat because he was cataclysmic - his power was used ruthlessly, he was not a just god, a kind god, he wasn't even a morally gray god, he was some false god preaching of his might and crushing the weak, the headstrong, he let the gods tear themselves apart defending against him and didn't blink an eye (probably bc he didn't have one to blink but that's not the point). Even the demigods lent their hand in aiding their divine families, released from mortal coils and bursting with godly energy that in the end, killed them. And what was their sacrifice for?
This shithole, with it's dampness, with it's prying eyes and strange whispers in the wind. This place was trying to scare us all shitless, and it was almost (almost being the key word) working. I turn to Sabre, having remained silent on our way here, and finally speak to her. I choose to ignore the little golden that clings to her, appearing sickly but still glittering gold - because fuck everyone in my family with a dragon. Where is my glittering golden dragon? My ferocious red? I grind my teeth momentarily before actually addressing her, unable to decide whether I should be mad that she abandoned me for so long, or relieved that she's finally back, and that she found us - found me. "Okay, first off, what the fuck, Sabre! You left, you left for so long! Do you know the shit I had to deal with alone? The - the shit Mother did -" I cut myself off, feeling each scar embedded into my skin burn, scattered over my body in a thick blanket as I look at Sabre, distressed, shaking, relieved. But the pain is there, the throb of my heart and the insults splattered across my back, deep and permanent, I could swear that the final layer, the deepest of all, still burns like it's fresh, like Mother had just torn a piece of my from my body and spat it at my hooves, swearing that I was weak, that I was sick.
"Where have you been all this time? Why could you never come back? You could've at least visited. You could've stayed." There's something pitiful in the way my voice lowers as the words drag on, unsteady syllables lined with pitiful sorrow, with pain that's rooted deep beneath my skin, kissing my bones and tearing through flesh - it fucking hurt, because I knew I was too much of a coward to follow her, to leave Helovia and Mother's tyrant hands, to slip from her abusive gaze and find a better place. But who know how that could've ended, what I would have become had I never had her telling me such awful things that accompanied each action. Who would I be, if not for her?
"Talk."
Rainforest Cliffs
