stress w rp

hey guys. idk if this is tmi but it drives me crazy and I just want to enjoy role playing. some advice might help a lot

I've always struggled with getting into character... it feels to me like I try too hard to make a "good" character and don't let them develop themselves. Like I have a vision for them but have a hard time bringing it to life the way I envision. Dialogue is hard and I feel like I overword/overthink posts sometimes. Also I super critique myself and feel like my characters rarely make meaningful connections with other characters.

How do I get past this, especially the extreme self-criticism? I feel like I'm constantly judged on my writing skills/characterization (which is silly...). I love writing and want to have fun with rp, but more often than not it just becomes stressful. If anyone has advice it is greatly appreciated.

So I totally understand where your coming from! Hopefully, at least. I think that it's easy to come with a new or newer character and try to compare them to these characters who have been around forever, who have a lot of relationships and history and power, and to look at your own character and wonder what you're doing wrong. Eventually with enough time put in, your characters will begin to flourish. I know when I first started, I knew who I wanted Ki'irha to be, so it was tough having this bare bones character with no magic/items/companions/etc and try to put them up against a character played by someone who has been at this for 5+ years. But if you put in the time (that's why I adore the 'love your character' rules), you'll get there!

And in terms of criticisms, don't! Again, it's easy to compare your writing to other peoples, but you shouldn't! There are so many different levels of writing here, it helps add to the magic. It's easy to be super self critical, but just relax and let the writing happen. Honestly, once I stopped trying to force Ki'irha to go down the path I wanted her to go down (she was originally meant to be a super unicorn pride racist who was cold and bitter and hated everyone who was different, and now look at her, spitting out babies with wings and stuff), she became easier to write, because I just let her do and say whatever. I learned her character, and it took a lot of time to figure out who I wanted her to be and where I wanted her to end up. Don't try to force your characters to be something, when you can allow so much character growth by letting them do whatever! Have them make friends, be vulnerable, fight someone scary, go on adventures, and use other people's characters to figure out who your character is.

And, if all of that fails, take a break. sometimes you just need to take a big step back and let the muse collect.

omg, i know what you mean. i do the same thing sometimes and it can be really frustrating when you put a lot of time and effort into coming up with a concept for a character and then you just don't click with it. happened to me with Mauja and it was really upsetting. then sometimes you'll just throw a design together and not have any idea about their personality or what kind of goals they'll have and they just come to life. this happened to me with Ktulu and Ranjiri and they're some of my longest played characters.

i find what works for me is just not over thinking it. i experiment with different writing styles, personality traits, dreams and goals and see what seems to fit the character as i write them. if something doesn't work i just drop it and try something else until i find whatever works for that character. sometimes stepping away for a few days before coming back and working on a particular character works because you're looking at them with a fresh mind and fresh eyes. i know some people use music and mood boards to get into character/ whatever mood they need to be in to respond to a thread.

i also know what you mean about being critical about your writing. i catch myself being critical sometimes and worrying that my posts aren't up to par with everyone else's. but then i click "post" and tell myself that the deed is done and there is no going back :P

i hope you find something that works for you!

also, don't be afraid to reach out to people with established characters for plots! everyone here is really nice and accommodating and generally willing to plot.

and picking up on what Noella said about letting your characters develop themselves. my character, Ktulu, has never been much of a 'mother' to foals that weren't her own and then she went and adopted Noella's orphaned filly. i didn't expect it would work out like it did (or well at all), it surprised me, and i love it :D

I agree with all of the above!

Also, something I find useful is to summarize what your character has been through every once in a while. This is especially helpful if you are bringing up a character from foal, because so much time passes and there is tons of character development that happen throughout every single thread we make, but it's really hard to see it when we are right smack in the middle of it.

I've noticed this myself just with this transfer from Helovia to the Rift. I had Erthë pretty much figured out, and she was on a good path to achieving her goals and dreams - and BAM, suddenly her father is dead, the goddess she devoted her life to is dead, her homeland is destroyed and she is trapped in a chaotic world ruled by a new god she hates. And on top of all that, she suddenly find herself the mother of two colts, tangled up in the madness of Volterra's family life and have no idea what to do. And that's just the broad strokes, there's all sorts of inter-character disputes and relations that needs attention.... And all of this has come to pass only because I played her one thread at a time, just having fun in the moment while trying not to control her actions too much.

I find that my biggest mistake when it comes to writing characters, is that I hesitate to let them make mistakes or look bad. I want them to be in the right all the time, I want them to have the last say and come out as the last one standing and be cool and shiny and for everyone to admire them and love them and throw themselves at my characters for threads... and that is impossible to achieve in every single thread. Really, when you stop and think about it it's the mistakes and the screw ups and the mental and physical scars that give a character depth, so keeping them away from stuff that will hurt them, or never allowing them to become victim to someone else or be weak, is doing myself a huge disservice.

If you're never weak, how can you ever grow stronger? If you never make mistakes, how will you ever learn?

As for writing... let me tell you, I've won quote of the month one time. ONE TIME! and that was... what. Four years ago, I think? And mostly it was because the character was screaming his head off against the injustice of things, so I suspect it was the capslock that did it. xD Honestly, as long as I can make myself understood and somehow convey roughly what is going on inside my head when I think of my magical ponies, that is good enough for me. Striving to get better is always a good thing, but the only thing you can do to accomplish that is to write, and read what others have written, and study - there is a world of helpful articles out there about creative writing and tips and tricks to make characters interesting. You'll get up a ton just by googling and I highly recommend doing that if you, like me, stumble over the technical aspects of writing. Grammar is a bitch... and did you know you can write both first, second and third perspective in three different ways?

And to round this off, you can always tag any of my characters in any thread at any time and I'll come running, because I love threading with everyone about anything :D I'm sure Erthë or Van or Ilunga can drag you off on some weird dramatic adventure somehow.

Have my pompous garbage:

I know how that feels. I've gone through long periods of time doubting myself, my writing, my character; it doesn't matter how many times somebody say they like my writing. I'm just like "it's garbage why would anyone want to read 800 words of mauja rambling about his woe". (I'm still amazed anyone wants to do this?????)

I've found that the best way to kill my muse and my desire to write a character is to force it into something it doesn't want to do. I have a couple of mistakes of that caliber in Mauja's history, but we've come through it, but forcing out those words that he doesn't want to write? And then sitting there with a consequence that never should've happened? It's tough.

I never had any particularly goals when I took over Mauja, and I still don't. I write for the interactions. I write for the moment. I write with those who want to write with me, because that makes me want to write with them. And most importantly: I write what pops into my brain and flows down my fingers. This has led to Mauja being a crying wreck at Mirage's funeral. It has led to him creating Glacia, to my own super huge surprise. I sit there and think "Mauja wtf" but he's just like "THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING DEAL WITH IT" - trying to change back to my "original plan/idea of what his reaction would be" just stops me dead in my tracks and I can't write a single word.

Writing what the character wants to have written is what gives me muse. When I've got some music I really connect to for the day, and the words just spill onto the screen. Then RP life is good.

It's less good when I'm sitting with a character that is beating its head against the wall "because I shouldn't even be here in the first place".

I don't consider it the "pinnacle of RP" to be leader of a herd, have the most awesome magic, the highest post count - this was just a byproduct for me. I've had weeks when I've forced myself to post because I've wanted to be at the top of the monthly top posters, but what came out was subpar because I was posting for the wrong reasons. I had a month back in 2012 when I wrote 84 posts or something ridiculous, because I felt like it. Aiming for something takes the fun out of it for me. If you're active, if you stick to your character, good things will happen. Opportunities will come. It's about the road, for me. That time Mauja won the leadership of the Edge from Ophelia and Kahlua? It wasn't my plan, he was just there as a spectator, but somehow he ended up in the running for it along the way. I wasn't trying and I still feel shitty for taking it from people who wanted it. Then I crashed and burned anyway.

tl;dr I'm never aiming for anything. For me, aiming implies a goal to reach, a finish line to cross. Mauja is an endless horizon.

Also in 100% of the cases, my characters have altered drastically in their first ten posts, as I get a feel for them. I have a good idea, but it shifts to what "works", and then I'm like "you weren't supposed to be like this" and they say "my way or the highway", and it's true.

Also, your writing is great. I've always enjoyed it, and enjoyed threading with you. <3

Agrees with Neo. :D You're writing is wonderful and you shouldn't be shy. <3

I have a lot of self confidence issues myself; I'm actively trying to get published and can't, because I'm such a chicken! Haha. On RPG games, however, I learned very early on in the game to HAVE FUN! At the end of the day, the Rift and other RPs are games. It started being a lot more so to me when I stopped expecting my writing to be the same as everyone else's, or for everyone to like it (no one person has everyone hooked on their style ;D), and really put my nose to doing things that felt innovative, interesting, and exciting for me.

In other words - don't be so serious! YOU GOT THIS GIRL

My dear the best advice I can honestly give is that literally none of this matters and no one gives that much of a shit. And when I say no one cares, I mean no one's taking a magnifying glass to your posts, counting your word count, dissecting the language you used and determining if it's high quality enough for their refined-ass taste buds. Like honestly if someone's like that they're probably not too much fun to play with anyway.

So idk man get loose with it. All that really matters is a) giving your partner/'s character something to respond to and b) having fun with it. The whole point is to have fun, dude. If it's not fun, stray away from it and find something you really feel like doing.

When it comes to developing a character, everyone else has hit the nail on the head, pretty much. The best character is the character you can't force; when they've become so fleshed out that giving them random traits or trying to make them stick to a "script" just doesn't work. And honestly, it's okay if your character grows up into something you can't fucking stand (it's frustrating BUT it shows growth as a writer). Let them grow up; let them be. Honestly the most fun you can have is discovering what they become and going "holy shit what are you even doing pls calm down"

ahh sorry for never replying to this. I didn't feel like I had a good reply, but I really appreciate all the feedback! will come up with better things to say when it isn't 2am, thanks guys <3