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”Tamlin!” He stopped instantly in front of her. Like a foal interrupted in his play. He glanced at the mayhem around him and for the first time he really saw what he had done to this little patch of land. The smell reached him too, as well as the sound of the buzzing flies. He gagged, barely able to keep his lunch down, and lowered his head in shame. The shaggy stallion watched Otem from under his tangled forelock as she worked on covering the rotting bodies of the strange looking critters. The smell improved with every patch of grass she grew, but she could not erase it fully - which she seemed to point out by asking how he could stand it. Tamlin lifted one of his front hooves which created a suction noise as it left the ground. He looked at the hoof and the slur of mud and blood that covered it - once more he had to fight to keep the content of his stomach down. He hurriedly put his hoof back down and shot a sideways glace at the autumn colored girl whom he had kind of filly-napped in a sense. Grown stallions whisking away little fillies to places of horror had to count as such, no? “Well… I… I don’t… I” he mumbled, unable to explain himself. But Otem was already leaning over one of his creations and a sliver of his former excitement returned. He went over to her, hooves making those awful suckling sounds as he walked. “Oh, you do? I think it is native to the Edge, but I don’t quite recall.” Was it was native to the Edge. Tamlin could not shake the thought of his home this time - a sign that the drugs were wearing off. He could feel the frustration and anger creeping closer, ready to take over when the memories of the trauma returned. He looked to Otem, he ought to make her leave now, but somehow he did not want that. She was one of few he had spent any amount of time together with in several years and part of him knew that it was what he needed. If he ever wanted to be clean, he had to make meaningful connections, have horses around him that he was willing to quit for. Not that he had ever touched on the thought of quitting, but still. “Otem.” he said, ambiguous emotions in his voice. “Maybe it is time for you to go to your family now. A young girl should not be running around with strangers. I bet your father would beat me to a pulp if he found out I took you to this place.” It was easy to hear from his words that his mind was clearing. He sounded more sane and less like an overgrown child. But soon the irritation would come and the headaches and all those other feelings and emotions that made him into the beast Otem had met the first time. He did not want her to meet that Tamlin again and how ever strange it felt for him to actually care about someone else, it was what he did in that moment. No matter how backwards it was, the deadbeat stallion knew she had less to fear from him high than sober. Fucking hell, I should not be around children - that’s for sure! |
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Tamlin’s jaws clenched together and his body became tense as he fought the need to lash out at the child. For the first time he wished himself free of his addiction, wished that he could just be normal. He took a deep breath to calm down as Otem walked around his garden, and this time it actually worked. He regained some of his calm even though he felt quite sullen. When she proclaimed that they were not strangers anymore Tamlin contemplated for a moment where the line between strangers and whatever level came next went. Was an exchange of names enough to become acquaintances? For him even “acquaintances” was too big a word to label his and Otem’s relationship with. Sure she had told him about her time in Helovia, but what did he really know about her. And she, she knew even less about him! Was this the moment he was supposed to share some of his deepest thoughts with her so that they could become friends? She is just a child! You should leave her alone. You cannot protect her. You can only damage her! Tamlin ignored the voice of reason and turned towards Otem. He shrugged his shoulders at her questioning gaze and let slip a few words that surprised even him: ”What’s mine is yours.” But bitterness and sorrow returned suddenly and washed over him at her childish question. The battle inside him flared up once again. Jaws clenching and body rigid he looked at her with eyes dark and hollow. But there was a flicker of light in those dead pools of his; a flicker of something that was not irritation and hatred towards the world in general. He was begging her, for her own sake, to leave, but still quietly asking her to stay. However it was the darkness that controlled his lips and he hissed at her as his ears pinned to his skull. ”What’s with me?! Have you forgotten everything I told you about my flower?!” He regained control for a second and backed away from her, turning his head and lowering his neck. I don’t want to hurt you. ”I am sorry, Otem.” he murmured, facing away from her. ”I don’t want to drive you away, but for your sake you should leave now. I am not good to be around. Next time you see me you ought to just go the other way. Ask your companion I am sure she agrees.” |
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